Don't Let the Algorithm Win

I'll begin with some observations I have witnessed of late...

If you know that Qatar offered to gift a plane to the US, but do not know that in fact it is not a gift to the US (it is for the use of the currently sitting President and at the end of his term, ownership will shift to his presidential library, never being used by any future president), you need to open up your algorithm - you are being manipulated.

If you know that the US is paying for transport for a group of white South African "refugees" to be brought to America and fast-tracked to legal status to be here, but you do not know that this same administration has cancelled a promise to Afghan refugees (who aided American soldiers) to provide safe haven and a path to legal status, forcing them back to a country where they will likely be persecuted and/or killed, you need to open up your algorithm - you are being manipulated.

If you know that this administration is deporting "millions" of violent criminals that are here illegally, but do not know of the many (MANY) that have been deported without due process, without breaking any laws, that are here legally and following the path they were placed on by our immigration system, you need to open up your algorithm -- you are being manipulated.

I could go on for a long time with examples of this. And I feel confident that you could give me some examples of things "liberals" are being manipulated with. Because the truth is that to some degree, social media WILL manipulate all of us. We can do a few things to mitigate the damage it means to do, but it takes active participation to fight against it.

A few things I've learned that have helped me in this arena:

1. I deliberately follow folks I often disagree with. Now, let me be clear -- I do not follow people that peddle in fear and misinformation. But I do follow people that are both more conservative than I am and more progressive than I am, but they DO care about truth and integrity and do not peddle in outrage.

2. I follow a variety of news outlets. Again, not rags that promote hate and fear and conspiracies. But from center, lean right and lean left that work hard to report truth, being honest about their own bias and that work to be nonpartisan. Sometimes I'm grumbling while I listen because I want them to be angry or I want them to be proven wrong, right there on the air. But I listen.

These first two will open up your algorithm -- it'll confuse it just a bit and give you some news outlets and reputable folks that might just help you open up your mind a smidge or hear another side of a story before you hit "post" on something that is not true or get into a knock-down-drag-out with someone while the cards you hold are turning to ash in your hands.

3. I double check everything before I post it or even allow myself to become irrationally angry about it. It's not hard to drill down just a little way and figure out if something has been taken out of context to support a particular view. All sides are prone to this behavior, and it only makes the dumpster fire we live in worse - no matter which side it's coming from.

4. I work hard to not fear or hate or disregard people and opinions that I disagree with. Simply hearing an opinion I disagree with will not hurt me. Being curious about where someone's perspective is coming from will not hurt me. Listening to someone, hearing them out will not hurt me. It does not mean I have to agree with them or that I become complicit. (Now please do not hear what I'm NOT saying -- I am not saying we have to listen to hate speech or harmful conspiracy theories. I am not saying we tolerate disrespect or contempt. I am NOT saying that people in marginalized groups should listen to someone berate them or those they love. Absolutely not.) I am in a relatively safe group - white, straight, middle class -- I can handle having uncomfortable conversations with people that are willing to have an open, reciprocal conversation that embodies respect and curiosity. I can leverage my privilege to have uncomfortable conversations that might end up making the lives of those I love better.

5. Always, always, ALWAYS be committed to truth - even when it makes me uncomfortable - even when it disrupts the point I want to make - even when it scares me that I might just be wrong on some point - even when my cognitive bias is screaming for me to stop listening.

6. Do not sacrifice humanity and integrity on the altar of being right. If we become inhumane because this is "too important" to play fair, then we become like the very thing we hate. If we lose our compassion and empathy for ANY group or person, we're no better than those we see doing harm.

7. Shut off your phone or your computer. Walk away from them. Sit down at a table with some really good food or go for a walk and talk to real people - people like you that will strengthen and encourage you and people not exactly like you that will keep you sharp and empathetic at the same time.

This is a marathon, not a sprint - it will not be won with hate, lies, inhumanity and screaming into the void. And if you are a Christ follower, I'll remind you - we're not here to "win" at all - we are here to be faithful to the way of Jesus.

No matter what.

The Best Job I've Had

The best job I've had is actually the only job I've had (at least a job that I'm paid to do). I have been a sign language interpreter for 40 years. << That is such a crazy sentence to write! 

The places and environments where I've done this work have changed throughout the years. From community work to working for state government, back to community and then video relay work. Relay work is where I am right now. There are things about each environment that I loved. I've learned new things in each space. Grown. Made mistakes. Learned from the best of the best in each new environment. 

Community work built a love for the Deaf community and their language that has enriched my life in profound ways. Working for state government gave me a boss that I still think of almost every week, some 35 years after leaving that space. He taught me so much about dedication to community. Relay work has allowed me to witness a growth within this community that new technology has allowed. Needed and vital jobs that would likely not exist without it, families connected in new and deeper ways, independence and privacy that used to be so much harder to obtain. 

I cannot imagine a trajectory that would have me doing anything else. The Deaf community and the community of interpreters that I work with and for have enriched my life in beautiful ways.

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As a relevant-for-our-current-times aside, every one of these jobs has shown me the beauty, dedication and value to community that can be generated from well run programs within government and government contracts. The rewards I've seen for families that in turn enriched our society as a whole, have made it that much more crushing to watch the way programs have been slashed without inquiry or concern for the devastating ripple effects they will create for thousands of futures. The ways I've seen for-profit companies change the trajectory of a mission in negative ways has taught me the value of work that is not meant to make a buck, but instead to enrich our communities. I'm afraid we're losing this value as a society and I mourn this loss for all of us.

The Book That Had a Big Impact on You

Sorry, I can't do just one. You should've seen that coming. 😊

Spiritual: Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I've read it more times than I can remember over the last 20 years. Reading again this year and it is fresh and important every time. 

Searching For Sunday by Rachel Held Evans. The first of her books I read. I've since read all of her books, but this hit at a particularly painful season.

Anything by Brian Zahnd.

Racial Justice: So. Many. But the book that began my serious study was The New Jim Crow. The history in that book shattered my protected white perspective and began a journey I am still on. 

History: The Color of Law and Jesus and John Wayne. Each of these gave a history of our country and the white evangelical church that I definitely never learned at school or in church.

Fiction: Just can't narrow. I'll list a few authors that never disappoint: Michael Phillips, Fredrik Backman, Jodi Picoult, Kristen Hannah, Wendell Berry. If I don't know what to read next, I can always go back to them.

I was a reader from a very early age and have always lost myself in the covers of a good story. For a few years in the thick of raising kids, especially teenagers, I found it difficult to concentrate enough to even finish a book. But I missed it and began a journey to become a deep reader again. Little by little, I found my groove again. A comfy chair with a hot cup of tea and a good book is just about my favorite space in the world. And in the last few years, it's also become a place for learning and growth as much as escape.

Let's read books instead of banning them. 

Best Advice You've Ever Received

"You are not your husband's Holy Spirit."

We were newly married when I heard a woman say this. I have tried to take this to heart. And not just with my husband, but with everyone. As I've mentioned before, Enneagram One here. At our unhealthiest, we're prone to being somewhat judgmental and critical -- of ourselves, first and foremost, but also, unfortunately, of others. It has taken me the better part of my lifetime to quiet that voice. And let God's job be God's job. He will do the job much better anyway. "It's the kindness of God that leads us to repentance," after all.

Everyone is on their own journey. Yours is not mine. Now, let me be very clear: allowing someone to go on their own journey may require some hard boundaries. Letting them figure it out does not mean we have to tolerate bad behavior or that we never have to speak out when others (including ourselves) are being harmed. It does not mean it is my job to save them from the consequences of their words or behavior. 

It does mean that I am not responsible for their change. I do not have to come up with the perfect, "Gotcha," to make them see the error of their ways. I do not have to constantly strive to figure out what *I* need to do so *they* will finally see the light. I am not responsible for anyone else's choices.

God is God. I am not.

Something I'm Looking Forward To

I mentioned a few days ago that when the world shut down with COVID we used our Scotland trip savings to purchase our camper. We have not regretted that decision for one second. I would say that given that decision, the long-term goal we're looking forward to is finally getting that trip to Scotland. No date set yet - but we can't wait until that comes!

In the short term, our lives have narrowed down to a pretty simple lifestyle right now. We are working toward building up a private practice consulting business for Brian and that takes most of our focus. We look for simpler, shorter-term ways to get away, to enjoy the outdoor hobbies we both enjoy. I always look forward to time with our kids and grandkids. And any opportunity to sit on the patio with a glass of wine and good friends is pure joy. So --Scotland is on the out-there horizon, but in the meantime, looking forward to friends, family and the great outdoors are not a bad way to pass the time.

The Most Important Lesson You've Learned

Learning the value of remaining humble and teachable is probably the most important lesson I have learned. I grew up firmly believing that what I was taught - in school, in church, in my community and culture - was fully right and correct. If it was not, they would not teach it, right? It was simply my job to learn it. And learn it well. And I did.

This belief crashed down around me a few years ago and left me in a bit of a wilderness for a while. The details of that would be for another time and post, but suffice to say, the rebuilding has left me in a much better place. What I've learned is that I will always have much to learn. I have learned that the best places to learn much of this is from those being oppressed and marginalized. History is often written by the victors. Start humble. Keep learning and keep learning from those we tend to overlook.

Your Favorite Trip

My most common answer to this question is, "the last one." I love to travel. I love the experiences of new foods, new cultures, learning the history of a new place. I love the outdoors, so exploring the great outdoors in new places is always a joy. I love traveling with Brian. He is the. best. person to have around when planning a vacation. He literally does everything. I pack my clothes and get in the car. 

We've been to London, to the Dominican Republic, to Costa Rica and each was glorious in it's own way. We've been to Colorado many times, to the Pacific Northwest, to Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania, to Florida, to Arkansas and New Mexico. When the pandemic shut the world down, we used our Ireland savings to buy a camper and have enjoyed *almost* every place camping has taken us. (And we're still looking forward to a trip back to the UK at some point.) We've been with our kids when they were still at home, with friends and all our kids (can you say w.i.l.d.?), with friends and no kids, and in recent years, lots of trips are just the two of us. I've loved them all.

One of my very favorite, though one of our simplest trips, was a road trip through Colorado and New Mexico. Brian planned the whole thing, with us staying in private, non-chain motels each night (and one night of car camping) and eating either from our car and an ice chest or in non-chain, local restaurants. We hiked many miles, climbed the Manitou Incline, explored Taos Earthships, sat very still while deer wandered into our campsite. It was simple and peaceful. Even though we covered a lot of miles, it never felt rushed. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. I recognize it was all that it was because of the work Brian did beforehand to plan it so well and I will never not appreciate him. 

I can pack a bag in record time, so I'm just sitting at the ready for the next trip.