"You are not your husband's Holy Spirit."
We were newly married when I heard a woman say this. I have tried to take this to heart. And not just with my husband, but with everyone. As I've mentioned before, Enneagram One here. At our unhealthiest, we're prone to being somewhat judgmental and critical -- of ourselves, first and foremost, but also, unfortunately, of others. It has taken me the better part of my lifetime to quiet that voice. And let God's job be God's job. He will do the job much better anyway. "It's the kindness of God that leads us to repentance," after all.
Everyone is on their own journey. Yours is not mine. Now, let me be very clear: allowing someone to go on their own journey may require some hard boundaries. Letting them figure it out does not mean we have to tolerate bad behavior or that we never have to speak out when others (including ourselves) are being harmed. It does not mean it is my job to save them from the consequences of their words or behavior.
It does mean that I am not responsible for their change. I do not have to come up with the perfect, "Gotcha," to make them see the error of their ways. I do not have to constantly strive to figure out what *I* need to do so *they* will finally see the light. I am not responsible for anyone else's choices.
God is God. I am not.
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