mel-an-chol-y

mel·an·chol·y

   [mel-uhn-kol-ee]  Show IPA noun,plural -chol·ies, adjective

noun

1.

a gloomy state of mind, especially when habitual or prolonged; depression.

2.

sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.

pen·sive

   [pen-siv]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

dreamily or wistfully thoughtful: a pensive mood.

2.

expressing or revealing thoughtfulness, usually marked by some sadness


That'd be me... Why, you ask?

Because this girl:

And this boy:

Just like maybe two weeks ago, were these kids:

And this last week, they both moved out - again.


Both seem much more final this time.  Erin will get married in May, so she won't be moving back home.  Luke moved into an apartment, so it just seems much more final - like he's all grown up and settled on his own. 


I know this is the natural way of things.  We've prepared them.  They love Jesus.  They're great kids and they're making good life choices.  So why does this make me meloncholy, pensive, sad?


I think it's because I miss the little things....  Knowing how their days unfold, the things that made them laugh today, the things that may make them cry tomorrow, the funny stories, the people they meet, the things they're learning... that kinda stuff.


I've always known all of that.  And they still share much of that with me, but it's in a summarized "it-was-really-cool-at-the-time-but-now-I-can't-remember-everything-I-wanted-to-tell-you" kind of way.


And, again, I know this is the natural way of things.  But, wow, it's hard to let go.  Hard to trust that you've done the best you knew to do - mistakes and all.  Trusting that God is bigger than the stuff that will come their way.  He's bigger than the mistakes they will make.  He has a good and perfect plan for them and it's better than anything I can dream up.


Maybe I've still got as much growing up to do as they do... :)


But - I still have one at home:

And bless his only-child-at-home heart - all my need to mother children, and only one to pour it out on!