All of us have likely come to this point. You wake up one day, rocking along as normal, pursuing your dreams, your goals, your mission - whatever you want to call it - when all at once, the proverbial rug gets yanked out from under you.
And it's gone.
Or maybe you see it coming - over a period of days, months, years even. You watch the foundation begin to crumble. You try to strengthen, to shore up...you hustle to "fix it", but nothing seems to be working - and then, suddenly, it's a heap of rubble and ash.
What do you do? What do I do?
I mourn.
I rage.
I cry.
I lay in a fetal position.
I eat chocolate and potato chips.
I sleep little and worry much.
I whine and complain.
I cry.
I rage.
I mourn.
I grieve.
I get out of bed and go run.
I cook a meal that matters.
I call a friend.
I go to church.
I write.
I pray.
I get dressed and leave the house.
I love my husband.
I read a book.
I sit outside and listen.
I live.
Life is change.
Sometimes dreams WILL die.
Sometimes it feels like they're dying, when they are actually morphing into something you never imagined possible.
In the immortal words of the Dread Pirate Roberts, "Life is pain, Highness."
But also? Here are some other immortal words...
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -- That's Jesus.
Dreams will morph. They will die. Life IS pain.
Sometimes they will resurrect - better than you ever imagined.
THAT is my prayer today.
I'm praying (praying passionately, fervently) for a resurrection. A life never dreamed possible.
But today - it's watching a dream die. Today - it's pain. I'll likely cry and rage today. But today, it's also life. I'll get up, get dressed, read, cook, pray, love.
Amidst all of this death, this pain, there is still life to be lived. Cry if you must. Rage if you must. Eat potato chips if it feels necessary (and it probably is).
But don't give up.
Take heart.
Your heart....the raw....I hear it. I have lived it. Continue to live it at times....and your right...its ok to grieve. It's ok to wail and cry out...but take heart. He has overcome the world! I so needed to read this today....love you my friend.
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ReplyDeleteThank you - I know you have, do, live this. Thankful our Father hears and holds our tears. Much love.
ReplyDeleteChange is difficult for most people. When change happens upon you with no warning, and it is a life changer, in most every respect, there is no comfort without our Lord Jesus to walk with us through everything. I am in the midst of hospice, in my home, for my mother. We are in the 11th month... and the Lord has provided my every need... but even so, I've cried, I've been angry, I've eaten the chips and chocolate... nothing satisfies but the sweet whispers of the Holy Spirit and the encouragement of the Word of God and from His saints. Thank you for sharing... you are a blessing and you write really well!
ReplyDeleteYou are reading my life over the past 5 years....many times over. God knows how much we can bare and He will not allow more than we can handle. I hear the pain, feel the pain, still living my life and waiting...ONE STEP AT A TIME. Thank you for sharing this!
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