That One Prayer

You know that prayer? The hard one, the one you're afraid to voice and, when you do, it comes out weak and kinda squeaky because it seems like it's too much, too hard? It would require too many people to care about the outcome, who don't care at. all. about the outcome, for that thing to happen? The one you voice with, "Lord, I do believe - help my unbelief"? The one voiced in the midst of what feels like a long, long, dry, desert season of wondering if God is still listening, if He's watching, if He cares about this particular problem? 

That one.

Keep praying. Keep voicing, even when it's weak and squeaky, even when you're not sure you still believe, even when there's a long list of prayers He hasn't answered yet.

Because He does care. I don't understand why sometimes He does not answer, why sometimes He does not heal, why sometimes He does not intervene, or He does not move unwilling hearts. He CAN. But He does not. It is maddening.

This is one of the hardest questions to answer. Job asked it several millennia ago - and we're still asking. Still getting a lot of questions in "response" - and the answer?

What I've come to believe (and you don't have to agree with me - I'm okay with that) is that most of the time, He is going to let things unfold as they will. He gave us free will. We like that plan, personally, (when we get to do whatever we want), but do not like the pain it creates for this world, and us individually, when everyone gets it... But, unfortunately, you don't get one without the other, we don't get to escape the tragedy of our world-wide, corporate free will failures.

So... We get our self-made messes, natural disasters, illness, the prodigal child, the failed marriage, fractured relationships, the unjust and the unfair. Often times, it just is. I've quoted him before and likely will again, but in the words of famed theologian the Dread Pirate Roberts, "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

But. And it's a big but...

Here is the answer -- He is with us. In and throughout all of it. 

Sometimes we are to BE the answer for the unjust and the unfair. The hands and feet of Jesus and all that...The child abused, the hungry families, the war torn refugee, the marginalized, the prisoner, the homeless forgotten, the desperately lonely - WE are supposed to be their answer. So, if we're praying for those people, but not taking action to be part of the answer, it ain't God's fault that it's not better.

But He is there. He hurts with us. He sits with us in the messes of our own making and gives us the strength to learn and do better. He holds us through debilitating illness and death. He is with that prodigal child when we cannot be. He holds our wounded hearts when people cannot be trusted... But He often does not intervene in the ways we hope and pray.

A few things...

~ Even when I'm too weak to keep believing, He is still there and He is still good.

~ He sees what I cannot. The unanswered prayers should still be prayed. He is trustworthy, even in His silence.

~ Praying the unanswered prayer is changing me. So I keep praying.


So...You know that prayer? The hard one, the one you're afraid to voice and, when you do, it comes out weak and kinda squeaky because it seems like it's too much, too hard? It would require too many people to care about the outcome, who don't care at. all. about the outcome, for that thing to happen? The one you voice with, "Lord, I do believe - help my unbelief"? The one voiced in the midst of what feels like a long, long, dry, desert season of wondering if God is still listening, if He's watching, if He cares about this particular problem?  

Sometimes He does answer - in big, astounding, blow-your-socks-off, only-God-could-do-that, mind-blowing ways - just to remind us that He's still here, still with us, still loving.  And this time? For us? He did.

He's such a show-off sometimes.

Be strong and of good courage.

He is with us.