How Do We Value Life? Really?

In the last few years, I've grown somewhat hesitant to claim the label prolife, for reasons I will explain in a moment. But I'm also unwilling to carry the prochoice label. In a world that is increasingly forcing us to wear labels, to take sides, to go to war and take no prisoners, I'm increasingly adverse to labels.

I am distrustful of politicians from both camps, as I see them using the issue to inflame fear and garner votes. I do not believe anymore that the majority of "prolife" legislators really intend to change anything significantly. I don't even think most of them believe in the cause they rally us to. If they did what their supporters have rallied and elected them to do (and at times in our political history, even recently, they have had the power to do so, yet did not), what fear would they use next time around to get votes? It's a game. A game that has lives at stake, but a game nonetheless. Fear is the actual goal in this game and we have been their pawns for decades.

I've watched far too many people that fly these flags spend more time casting stones, tossing verbal grenades across the huge chasm we've erected between us. The executive branch changing parties has them coming out of the woodwork from both sides. Hate is the primary thing being created here - it is most certainly not creating a whole life ethic that cares for both an unborn child and the mother carrying that child.

In recent days I've seen prolife proponents state proudly that they will have no discussions with anyone unwilling to call all abortions outright murder, no discussions that do not include making it a criminal action... That anyone offering any nuance simply doesn't know Jesus or believe the Bible.

I've seen pro-choice supporters state proudly that they will have no discussions with anyone that speaks of the fetus as being a living child or having any rights, that speaking up for the rights of the fetus is tantamount to hating women.

Meanwhile the lives of unborn children are still lost. Their mothers are still disrespected, still forced into unimaginable choices, still dying. All under the weight of our sanctimonious flag waving and judgement.

Do you know what won't stop abortions or convince anyone to change their prochoice stance? Overturning Roe v. Wade. Plastering pictures of unborn children or graphic depictions of aborted babies all over your car or your feed or signs or billboards. I know and love people on the opposing side. They back further into their ideological corner at these tactics.

Do you know what won't bring about autonomy, respect and care for women? Completely ostracizing people that value the life of unborn children and believe those children have rights. I know and love people on this opposing side here as well. They become even more militant when this happens.

What will change both of these things? Living out an ethic that values all life. Listening to people that see things you cannot/do not see. Coming to the table to design policies that are proven to both protect women and reduce abortions, protecting unborn children. 

I recently heard the following question, and it was a gut-check for me: If we put the money and energy into actual causes that are proven to reduce the number of abortions, rather than nearly all our money and energy into campaigns for legislators and presidents that promise to change this system to the way we believe it should be (and they, in fact, do not), what difference would we see in ten years? Both in decreased numbers of abortions and in increased valuing of the health and autonomy of women? Honestly, that's convicting for me. Not what am I saying, but what am I doing?

There are people trying to do just this, trying to begin having these conversations. I've sat in a couple of Zoom conferences with believers on all sides of this issue having hard conversations. I'll be signing up for more over the next few weeks. It is not easy. Passions run high. We have to commit to shutting up and listening. Commit to climbing down off our moral high ground and finding answers that actually work, because there are some. I don't agree with everything I hear, but I'm learning to listen, learning I may not see everything there is to see. You can be horrified by the loss of unborn life and still listen to women. You can see the horrors women have had to endure at the hands of unjust men and unjust laws and still hear those who care about a child in the womb. 

We live in a broken society. There have always been and always will be abortions. For reasons we cannot begin to imagine and for reasons that should never be. No law will completely stop this. I no longer believe that criminally prosecuting either a woman or her doctor will stop abortions. I do believe, however, there are things that will seriously lower the numbers. There are laws and policies that, if created in bipartisan fashion, with us supporting it, can make a significant impact on reducing them. There are ways we can be living our actual lives that value life rather than reducing it's value. And the prolife side is every bit as guilty of reducing the value of life as the prochoice side is. It comes down to choosing to undervalue different lives.

What we're doing is not working. Babies keep dying. Women are vilified and not truly valued. The chasm gets wider. Do we want to value life or do we simply want to be right?

Two things I'll end with:

1. If you're even remotely interested in beginning nuanced conversation, Red Letter Christians and The & Campaign are both trying to do just this. You can find them on Facebook or Instagram. (If you know of other spaces, especially if they're local, I'd love it if you'd share them with the rest of us.) And also, commit to listening to the friends and neighbors in your actual life that have a different perspective.
2. I will delete any comments that are unkind or attempt to shut out opposing opinions without open, listening postures. And yes, I know that is subjective, but it's my page, so I'll decide.

Mostly, I'd just like you to pray about how, no matter which side of this divide you sit on, you can begin to listen and speak in ways that will bring life-valuing change.