A Life Devastated

We have been walking slowly through the latter half of David's life in the lectionary readings the last few weeks. I find the story of David's life to be one of the saddest of the Old Testament. He starts well, but the latter half of his life is utterly devastating for me to read. We begin with a young man, not perfect, but one whose singular purpose is to love and serve God and lead well. I do not believe he ever stopped loving God, but it becomes evident that his primary focus changes. This last weekend we read the story of his son, Absalom, and how his life ended. It nearly brings me to tears every time I read it. It is a lengthy bit of reading. This week's reading is in 2 Samuel 18, but to get the full context of the story, you need to back all the way up to chapter 11. Here we find David beginning his descent. He takes what is not his - Bathsheba - and forces her to become first his mistress, and then his wife. He has her husband killed to cover up what he's done and many others are killed and injured in the process. When confronted, David does acknowledge his sin and repent, but he, along with his family and his subjects, spends the rest of his life living with the consequences. In a cruel twist, we arrive at chapter 13 and find one of his sons (Amnon) raping one of his daughters. David knows this has happened and does nothing to bring justice for his daughter. He is angry, we are told, but takes no action. The rest of the story unfolds with the anger turned vengeance of another of his sons, Absalom. In the void left by David's unwillingness to bring justice, a rift opens up between Absalom and David that will never be healed - ending in the death of Absalom.

We can be sure that the devastation began with David's decision to take what was not his, for his benefit and at the expense of many others. His desire to possess another person, to have more than he could possess righteously, led to the destruction of his family and life long harm to many others. We need to take careful note here: Many people, generations of people, were hurt by David's sin. His repentance did not change that fact. Many people that bore no guilt in his sin bore long term consequences because of his choices. 

I was struck by the consequences of David's failure to act after he repented before God. We see Amnon, his son, following in his footsteps, taking what was not his for his own pleasure and benefit in raping his sister. Did David follow-up his repentance before God with repentance to his family? We are not told. But I have to wonder - did he fail to pass on to his children what he had learned from his own catastrophic failure?  Did he fail to repent before them for what they had witnessed and then seemed to emulate? We are told that he does not take action after the rape of his daughter occurs. He is angry about what happened, but he does not act to bring justice. Perhaps he saw glimpses of himself in the actions of his son and rather than face it all head on, he did nothing. We do not know the reason, but whatever it was, it crippled him with inaction. The consequences of his inaction further devastate his family and bring pain and separation with his fighting men. Absalom, in his anger and desire for justice not given, resorts to vengeance. Once again another son follows his father's example of trying to take by force  what is not rightfully his (in this case, the life of his brother, the loyalty of his father's men and the throne). And David, once again, with opportunities all along this devastating journey to change course, to right wrongs, to seek reconciliation, does nothing. 

David did repent, yes. But his failure to follow through and to act with justice and righteousness and reconciliation afterward continued to devastate his family and his country for generations to come.

How often am I grieved by my sin, but do not follow up to repair the breach with the people my sin has harmed?

How often am I angered by the injustice I see around me, but am unwilling to take action to bring justice when action is within my power?

Am I crippled by inaction because I fear losing what I believe to be "mine?"

Does my ongoing guilt stifle my ability to live fully as God would desire me to live? Am I carrying around baggage that is ultimately harming others because I refuse to deal honestly with what is happening?

I pray I will learn from the pain and devastation the end of David's life exemplified. Rather than repeat it, that I will pursue full healing and restoration with those around me, that I will pursue justice in whatever ways it is within my power to act.