The Best Thing That's Ever Happened to You

The best thing that's ever happened to me - good grief. I've been on this earth for over 61 years - A LOT of really profound things have happened. but hands down, everything that has passed through my brain as I've thought through this one, it's been people. Not "things" or events - but people. People change everything.

My first thought was to choose to not default to Jesus. This is a writing prompt *challenge,* after all, and that's a no-brainer answer. My second thought was that choosing Brian for my life partner or becoming a mother would also feel like cheating. But also also? I have a lot more days to go and these things matter and have indeed changed the trajectory of my life, multiple times.

We don't have much say in where and when we're born, who we're born to, what that culture is or is not - but being born in a time and place and into a family and community that allowed me to begin my journey getting to know Jesus has indeed changed and impacted every single thing since that time. My thoughts and beliefs have morphed through the years. I've shed some things that once seemed irreplaceable, and I've learned and picked up new things along the way that I never dreamed would be a priority - but the constant in all of it has been Jesus. I have never stopped believing that His words, His ways, His plan for the redemption of all things is the path I am to walk. With Peter, my mantra has become, "Lord, where else would I go?" So here I still am.

Brian. He is truly the constant for me. Always. We are as different as night and day. HIs extrovert to my introvert, his networking and making friends to my hiding in the corner with the one other person that hates small talk, his risk-taking to my need for security, his 12-year-old-boy humor to my eye-rolling. But he has never once made me feel like I should not be exactly who I am or who i am striving to become. I have been in relationship with folks (both before Brian and with colleagues, friends, etc.) that hang the health of a relationship on agreement. This is not the way to health. Ever. To be fully accepted by him as I learn and grow has been everything.

Becoming a mother. There's not enough paper. In the beginning, they shut my world down. The focus of what matters slid down into a pinpoint. As they grew and became their own person(s), they've taught me that a lot of things matter that I hadn't seen or even been aware of until their needs showed them to me. After bringing everything into pinpoint focus, they then took me to a much bigger view of the world. Some of that through pain and suffering (both theirs and mine), some of it reveling in the wild, imaginative differences God places within each of us. I am a better, kinder, more whole, more respectful person than I would ever have become without the ways they have shaped me.

People. People are the best things.

The Kindest Thing

April 2 - The Kindest Thing Someone Did For You

The "kindest" thing is a daunting prompt. My life has been filled with people that have taken the time to show me kindness when they absolutely did not have to. This has been a good exercise in thinking back through the years of so many. 

A dear colleague that reached out to mentor and encourage me when, after more than 30 years, I had to sit for my professional evaluation again. I was terrified and she made that process 1,000 times less awful. 

Friends that have sat with me through some of the hardest seasons of life, not attempting to fix anything, but just listened and were a steady presence.

Many, many long walks at the lake, lunches with Dr. Pepper and chocolate while our children played like they were completely feral. These people know who they are and literally saved my life.

My mom staying with me as we brought each child home, patiently being everything I could not be. My dad telling me his high school breakup story when my high school world felt like it would never be okay again. (Spoiler: it did indeed get better.)

Friends that know exactly when to say, "You wanna meet at the coffee shop and visit?" 

Those that have patiently walked with me, answered my questions, listened to me rant and mourn as I've walked this long wilderness journey of seeing my world get both bigger and smaller at the same time. They did not have to be patient. They did not have to answer my questions. They did not have to wait for me to finally "get it" - but they have.

Friends that just know when I'm drowning and step in to help, or send a text at exactly the right moment, or a reel or a meme that we're the only two people in the world that will think it's the best.

Friends that have sent me fancy tea, a new mug, a baby Yoda, new earrings. Each of them had no idea that the timing was perfect. 

The folks on our outreach days, both those we serve with and those we're there for - especially them. With absolutely nothing to give, they give themselves. 

Each of these have taught me to never ignore the voices that tells me to call someone, to reach out when someone comes to mind, to pick up that little thing that made me think of them, to have enough flex in my schedule to have time for the unexpected conversations. 

Because we never know when that thing we said or did is the thing that kept someone's head above water for a few more hours. That gave them a reason to keep trying. That reminded them they're not the failure they feel like they are right at that moment. 

Be kind. It matters.

The Best Thing That's Happened This Year

 April 1 -The Best Thing That's Happened This Year

The best thing that has happened so far this year has been Brian's surprise 60th birthday party. I'll start off up front with the confession that I am terrible at parties and I am terrible with crowds. My husband is fabulous with both of those things and I knew he would love an event like what we ended up throwing for him. So I dove into the planning! 

My next confession would be that I hate lying. And there's no way to plan a surprise party for someone you spend nearly every minute of everyday with without lying. A lot. But guess what? Apparently, while I hate it, I'm pretty good at it! 🤣

It ended up being such a joy to pull together folks that have impacted and been impacted by Brian's six decades of life. Seeing so many of these people together in one place at one time, to hear their words of joy and encouragement, their laughter as we recalled so many funny memories together --

What. A. Joy. ❤️

These people have stood with us through all manner of joy and hardship, tough times and easy, flourishing and wilderness. I was reminded, once again, that God never intended us to live this life alone. He means for us to thrive in community. And the community we have been blessed with all along the way -- it has morphed, sure, but so many have stayed the course with us. And it is absolutely life giving. 

Life is often hard, but hang on to your people. 

Even if you're as bad at it as I am, make up reasons to have a party with the people you love. Hug them. Share good food and drink. Tell them how much they mean to you, and be specific. Tell them you love them. Loud and often. Make it weird.

We may not get out of here alive, and some seasons are unspeakably difficult, but we do not have to be here alone. For this, I am grateful.