I'll be up front here...
Life has just been kinda sucky lately.
I've felt a little like Eeyore. A black cloud seems to hover over me - at least that's my perception. I see the negative, cup half empty stuff. I don't like that about myself, but I'm just being honest.
I can rock along for quite a while sometimes, coping, giving the big and the little stuff to God. And then, sometimes, not so much. Sometimes I just quit giving it to Him. I carry it around, meditate on it, wallow in it a little. It's not good. It's not healthy.
But that's where I've been.
Ever have those times?
And one of the things I really love about God is that in the midst of my little pity party - when what I actually need is a good swift kick in the butt, He is still gracious - still good.
Mind you - He can and does sometimes just give the swift kick that I need -- but not always.
Sometimes - In the middle of my glass-half-empty mentality, He shows up with a fire hydrant and floods my cup with His goodness - forcing me to see the goodness, the fullness of Him.
Yesterday and today have been that fire hydrant of grace. Nothing spectacular. No fireworks or leaping tongues of fire. But gentle reminders of his grace.
Sometimes that's all I need -- gentle reminders that He is still here, He is still working. He has not forgotten and He has a good plan, even when I can't see it. He's given many this weekend - one right after the other until I am utterly overwhelmed. Brought to my spiritual knees. Thankful.
Not knowing the plan is not the same as there not being a plan. The glass really is full and overflowing.
So, I'm guessing not much is going to change in the circumstances that have led me to this darker place, at least not anytime soon. But I'm thankful for the reminders that God is here - in the middle of it.
And it is good.