I've got some stuff to say. I will preface this by saying that this post will touch on some somewhat personal points, but the vast majority of what I post on this subject will be to magnify the voices of POC, of people leading and teaching in profound ways in this area. God has indeed raised up some people for such a time as this and I want to keep pointing others toward them, toward their voices.
Saturday night, my son participated in one of the protests in Oklahoma City. As they marched, they saw a few people making destructive choices and tried to stop any they saw, encouraging non-violence as they went. It ended at the downtown Oklahoma City police department, many of the protesters on their knees. Sometime around midnight, they were told to go home. No curfew had been instituted at this point and they did not leave. (This is the point of a protest, to disrupt the status quo, to stop the normal flow of the thing that is terribly wrong, to pray the disruption of normalcy will get someone to listen.) Police shot tear gas into the crowd while most of the protesters were on their knees, arms in the air. They dispersed, but returned after gas thinned out. This happened a couple of times. In the midst of one of these, an officer shot a tear gas canister from a grenade launcher square into the back of my son's head - as he and the others were retreating. Not at the ground. Not in the air. At his head. And did I mention he was retreating? A second one hit his arm after the first blast knocked him to the ground. Bystanders there specifically for the purpose of providing medic help if needed helped my son to safety and bandaged him until he could go to the ER for treatment. He'll be okay with a couple of days rest, but the wound was significant.
This, in abbreviated form, is the text from my son that I woke up to early Sunday morning. I was completely overwhelmed, I was terrified for him, I was worried more than I can describe, I was, and still am, incredibly angry. When he called me later in the morning to assure me again he was okay, the sound of his voice, knowing he was indeed, at least physically, okay... The relief nearly took me to my knees, tears would not stop.
There is no greater fear for a mother, not one, than the fear of something happening to one of your babies. Their being an adult changes nothing of that fear. We would do literally anything, and I do mean anything, to protect our children from harm.
As I sank, in tears of relief - "he's really okay, thank You, Jesus, he's really okay" -- my very next thought was this: Mamas of black children face this kind of fear almost every single day. This kind of relief every time their black babies (no matter their age) get home from hanging out with their friends. Every time their husband gets home from work or goes out for a run. And for their men, every time their wife or daughter gets home (unless it's Breonna Taylor who wasn't safe even sleeping in her own bed). I cannot tell you how many times I've been reduced to tears in the last 36 hours. Tears from sorrow, from rage, from worry.
Next thought? This kind of stress every damn day of your life, and it's been happening for generations? I get why they're screaming in the streets. We should be standing next to them. Their children are our children. We need to be angry. We must be angry. Anger at the sin that destroys us is righteous. And we have been unphased, complacent, willfully ignorant for far too long.
Yes, there are good officers, that goes without saying. Several are men and women I know and care deeply about them and their families. I believe those officers that are in this for the common good want to see change as well. But our criminal justice system is a disaster. From top to bottom. A good cop in a bad system can only do so much good, but a bad cop in a bad system? Well, we're seeing that now. You don't have to get very close to someone this system has swallowed up (and I am) to see clearly it is designed to keep people down, it is for the profit of those at the top. It is oppressive *by design*. If you don't believe that, you're not paying attention. Read our scriptures - the prophets - they do not mince words about what God thinks of people who name His name and turn away from the pain of the oppressed.
My son is physically okay today. That is not true for way too many. I don't know what kind of lasting effects he will carry with him from this single incident, but I am certain there will be things he must work through. And this crushes his Mama. Imagine generations of families carrying repeated trauma, trauma much greater than this. This matters, guys. We must be willing to be uncomfortable enough to let the systems we as white folks have benefited from die. To repent of our indifference at best and our complicity at worst and start listening to better ways to build a system that benefits all people.
God help us all if the Church remains unwilling to be a part of the dismantling and rebuilding.
But here's the truth, as I re-read that last sentence - we cannot count on God helping us when we deliberately choose to look the other way, to say there's nothing we can do, that sin is sin and always will be this side of Heaven. This boils down to an excuse for inaction. "Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven." These are the words of Jesus - the one we claim to follow. He demands justice. He demands we see the oppressed, to identify the systems of oppression, to hear their voices. And rather than saying, "Peace, peace" when there is indeed no peace, we will be a part of ending it.
God, have mercy.
I pray we will stop with the peacekeeping and become true peacemakers.
