That's My Story - Am I Sticking To It?

“What story do I want to tell?  What story do I want my children to see?”

When Brian went to Catalyst last year, he brought me back a necklace.  Leather “chain” with a key and a charm on it.  It was a reminder to support and pray for the A21 Campaign.  They are a group that works to abolish human trafficking, their primary work being in Europe.  I looked them up, cried, prayed for them and the girls they’ve saved - a few times… And. Did. Nothing.

I moved on with my life.  I took care of my husband and my kids.  I educated my child still at home.  I worked.  I served at church.  I cleaned my house.  I worked out.  I watched TV.  I read books and laughed and cried.  And rarely thought of those girls – trapped in the worst horror I can imagine.

I went to Catalyst with my husband this year.  Two of the speakers were Gary Haugen, with International Justice Mission and Christine Caine, with A21 Campaign.  (If you don’t know what these people are doing, I beg you, look them up.)  http://www.ijm.org/  and  http://www.thea21campaign.org/

As I sat there, listening to them tell their stories, watching the pictures that played behind them of children, real children, that have been pulled from slavery through their organizations’ efforts, some as young as 8 and 9 years old, my heart was broken.  Christine ended with the statement that in the 30 or so minutes she had been speaking, eight girls had been taken by sex traffickers.  All I could think as I listened to them was that I had spent the last months knowing, knowing and - Doing. Nothing. 

I came home and began to read.  I’ve read about the problem here – in our state, in our country, in our world.  My heart is still broken.  But now I must Do. Something. 

Here's the truth.  God has called us the Body of Christ.  And I HATE trite little sayings, but, really, what would Jesus be doing?  Faced with such unspeakable horror, would He go on with a safe, simple, middle-class life?  Would He turn away?  He has called us to be His hands and feet, to be known by our love, to be a light in the darkness.  I don't want to live safely anymore.

I’ll be honest.  I have no idea what that is supposed to look like yet.  I know God has called me to the life I live now – to care for my family, to educate our kids at home, to help my kids go to college, to serve in the Body of Christ where I am and I know that is important and changes lives…  But I also KNOW I have to be in this battle.  So… I’m praying, really praying this time, that God will show me what a primarily-stay-at-home mom in the center of middle-American can and should be doing.  And I’m praying that I won’t forget – that my heart won’t stop being broken…

“What should I fear?  I should fear waking up and not knowing that I am in the center of God’s will.” 

***Disclaimer***

I am writing this blog at the encouragement of my husband.  For whatever reason - God's quirky sense of humor, maybe - I have been blessed with many, many strong opinions, but whenever I attempt to share them, I tend to start crying and can  no longer speak.  (Just dawned on me that perhaps it may be God's way of shutting me up...Hmmm.)  Anyway, my sweet husband has been encouraging me to write - to say what I'm thinking about this.  SO - here's my disclaimer... If this whole thing goes south on him, and I become like, maybe the JamietheVeryWorstMissionary version of a pastor's wife - remember - he started it.