Giving Thanks - Week Three

My take away from this week, is seeing God in the beautiful ordinary.  He is working all around us - in the people we interact with, in the ways we relax, in the grocery shopping, in cheap, quiet date nights, in small blessings and great.  Week Three...


Day #15

Okay, you all knew this was tonight's Giving Thanks, right? My baby, my last born. 

Since he was about 18 months old, I have said that, lest we should think we have all the answers, God gave us Dylan. He has kept us hopping ever since and I couldn't be more grateful. 

His passion to pursue his dreams, his transparent honesty throughout some indescribably difficult parts of life, his ability to encourage and lift up others, his desire to use the talents he's been given to glorify God and help others - all of these things inspire me.

I cannot wait to see where this kid is going, but I am certain the journey there is going to be amazing for us all.  Thankful


Day #16 

Today I am thankful for my newest son. This young man has been around since he and Erin were 13 years old. He joined our family officially in 2012, but we counted him long before.

I have discovered in the years we have known Jeff that one of our greatest blessings as parents is seeing our children find a spouse that completes them. Not in the sense that neither was whole alone, because they were. But they fit. Where one is weak, the other gives strength and vice versa.

He is so good for my daughter and, I believe, she for him. He works hard, he lives well. He is loyal and kind, he's quiet, but you should definitely listen when he does speak. (And he's handy to have around when you need someone to reach things that are up too high, or your car breaks down  ). He also, with Erin, loves the youth in our community and has spent countless hours investing in the young men here. And -- he loves my daughter.

As our kids have grown up, one of my best friends and I would often, in describing a new young person to the other that they had not met, would say, "He could marry a daughter," or, "She could marry a son."

This boy? This boy could marry a daughter - and I'm so thankful he did.


Day #17

Today I am thankful that I can run. I cannot run fast, and (at least for now) I cannot run far, but I can run. 

It is my mental health therapy, quite honestly. It is a time between me and God that allows me to pray and meditate and process in ways I don't seem to be able to do anywhere else. 

I can work out my anger, worries, frustrations and stress on bad days. And on the good days, I can glory in the beauty of creation, both around me and in the sheer wonder of our body's ability to keep pushing, growing, accepting challenge.

I am grateful God made us to push ourselves. Not everyone can run, but everyone can find that thing that helps them focus and clears out distractions so they can hear God. That thing that clears their head and allows them to see the beauty around them. That thing that pushes them to be better - physically, emotionally, relationaly, spiritually.

That's running for me, and I'm thankful.


Day #18 

Today I am thankful for the myriad of people that have had an impact on my kids. There is no possible way I can list them all because there have been so many through the years.

- Teachers and older youth when they were much younger. They were beautiful examples of love. They still have sweet memories of babysitters and Sunday school teachers to this day.

- Youth pastors and sponsors in their youth. Even those that had to move on were, and are still are, a huge part of their lives. I love how they love my kids.

- Our friends that have loved my kids like their own and have invested in them in huge ways. They have spent countless hours praying for, teaching, encouraging and loving our kids; being beautiful examples of how imperfect people love and live and forgive in the context of family. Some of my kids' best friends are in these families.

- Super Summer leaders and camp leaders, karate instructors and tumbling coaches, cycling coaches and voice teachers. So, so, many willing to invest beyond what they were paid to do. It was so much more than a job.

- Friends and leaders in the churches that adult life has taken them to that keep loving them when we aren't there all the time anymore.

- Our family. Wow. We just have the greatest family - all the way around. They love us and our kids and have been exactly the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, that my kids need.

The list is so long. My attempts to think of them all will fall freakishly short.

When they were babies, I had this very misguided notion that Brian and I could be enough. I was very, very wrong. These people have added depth and beauty that only community can bring.

Thankful.


Day #19 

Today I am thankful for ordinary days. Quiet early morning, house cleaning, laundry, hair cut, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, quiet evening with popcorn and a movie with my man. I don't want to forget to be thankful for the beautiful ordinary.

Day #20  

Five years ago a lady I admire more than I can say began to dream of using her passion for cooking to help others in our community - single moms; people at the end of their paycheck, but still needing to feed their family; the weary - whoever a warm, nutritious meal would bless. And she did it.

With a little planning, and no idea of what was ahead, she began. The first week, about 60 meals were served and we were beside ourselves with excitement.

Five years later, that precious woman has moved to another community, but her legacy continues. Every Wednesday night. We served 539 meals tonight.

Tonight I am thankful for the people that serve in this ministry. It is one of the most rewarding kinds of tired I know. It cannot be done by just the few of us that cook. I am so thankful for those that give up their time to help pull this off every. single. week.

I am thankful for those we serve. Each week they are a blessing and we have learned much from so many of them.

I am thankful for those that give - many of whom don't go to our church or, with a few, even live in our community. God is using their resources to bless people every week.

We have seen God do amazing things - truly miraculous at times. Our church is small and does not have the bank account for this endeavor. Some weeks, honestly, we know we'll be shutting the doors the next month without a miracle...so far, we've always had the miracle.

God is good. We are thankful.



Day #21

Okay, tonight is short and silly. I'm thankful for Netflix and figuring out that every episode of Chuck is on there. I've never fully accepted that it ended, so...Tonight? The pilot. Woohoo!

Giving Thanks - Week Two

This Giving Thanks project has been good for me.  I have tried to not pick easy, fall-back things each day.  But instead, to really look at my day and think about what I'm most thankful for in that 24-hour period.  And each day, even though some of them are really hard days, there is something beautiful that God is doing.  That is something I want to remain mindful of every single day. It's incredibly easy to look at the negative - to dwell on it - to obsess - to entertain "vain imaginations" - especially when one wakes up at 4:30 in the morning, as I often do (and did this morning). It's easy to sit in the dark and think only of what is hard.  But God is working - He is moving and blessing and loving us, even then.  So... here's week two:

Day 8

Day #8 - Today I am thankful for a good God that never, ever stops pursuing us. I'm thankful that He has hounded my youngest and that even in the pain, God is healing. To be brutally honest, part of me doesn't even want to share this link because it is so hard. There is nothing - absolutely nothing - in this world more painful than watching your children go through pain and having no control over the outcome.

But, here is the truth - even in the pain, there is beauty - when we are willing to be found. Jesus asked the lame man, "Do you want to be healed?" I'm thankful he continues to let God find him - that he wants to be healed, and that he has found his Healer.  Here it is:  Dylan Black Blog


Day 9

Thankful for a group of friends we have had for 20+ years. There was something so special about this season of our lives. 

It was in this place we learned the value and beauty of community. We learned to sacrifice for the good of another. We first learned what true, lasting friendship looks like.

The friends we made then are still some of our best. We've gone on to different churches, different cities, different states; we sometimes go years without being able to see some of them in person.

This weekend we've been able to eat, relax, laugh, reminisce, catch up, fellowship, (did I already mention eat?) with one of those families. What a joy.

I am thankful for one of God's most magnificent gifts - friends.


Day 10

Day #10 - I am thankful for the children in my Sunday school class. I have learned so much from them through the many years I've taught. 

I love their honesty - their willingness to tell it like it is (sometimes that is sad as I've seen the pain some have had to face much too young; and it's occasionally pretty darn funny). 

I love to listen to them pray and I love to hear their simple, faith-filled requests.

I am thankful that they keep me consistently looking to God through their simple, childlike eyes.

Jesus let them surround Him and he blessed them. I pray I will always want to do the same.

Day 11

Today, I am thankful for Mondays.

For the last several years, I have worked on Mondays because it was Brian's day off. Because we homeschooled, this allowed the kids to still have a parent around for their school work, but rarely allowed Brian and I to share his day off together.

Since becoming empty nesters I have gradually tried to move myself away from working Mondays as much as possible. I have so enjoyed having a slow, lazy day with him every once in a while. It's something we didn't used to have very often.

So, today I'm thankful for Mondays and thankful I have a man by my side that I still adore spending my days with.


Day 12

Today I am thankful for an evening with a house full people that I love, a home with heat and a mug of hot tea. Simple things.








Day 13

Today I am thankful for my firstborn. She is a joy to me and I just have to say a few words. Her love for children of all ages is inspiring to me. She challenges me, just by watching her live, to invest in their young hearts.

She was the paid youth intern/office assistant for Cornerstone this last year and has spent many, many hours planning events, investing in lives, being a listening ear for our kids. 



She is doing her internship for her degree this semester, so she had to quit at the church. She has continued, (while working 40 hours a week for free for said internship) to invest in their lives, planning events, going to their games, loving these kids, without any pay - because she wants to - simply because she loves them.

I love that this girl is not only my firstborn, but my friend and an inspiration to me. Thankful.


Day #14 

Today I am thankful for my second born. He makes me smile. He makes me crazy. Often, both at the same time.  

He processes like I do. He learns like I do - though he is freaky smart and I am. not. He has the same gift of sarcasm that I have. We often do not agree, but even in our disagreement, he still makes me smile and I still usually "get" him.

He's our scientist - always has been. Though many things about this young man have changed as he's grown up, that is not one of those things. He's a thinker. He loves to learn. He researches scientific journals "for fun". He'll do great things - of this I have no doubt.

He's one of the hardest working college students I know. Working at both his job and some of the hardest classes imaginable. I'm incredibly proud; I love this second born of mine. Thankful.

Giving Thanks - Week One

I decided to move my Giving Thanks posts that I'm putting on Facebook over here.  For a couple of reasons:

 1. To share with my very, very few readers that aren't on Facebook.

  2. Because knowing my weakness and that I'm prone to forget, I want to preserve them in a place I can easily go back and remember.

So here they are --  Week One:



Day 1

I've never done the November thankfulness challenge, but considering how my day has gone today, I'm going to at least start it --

My Daddy had a cardio arteriogram followed by four stents put in this morning at St. Anthony's. He is recovering beautifully.

So today I am thankful for my Daddy, for medical advancements that allowed this to be discovered before anything life threatening happened, for doctors and nurses that took good care of him and for a God that provides.

I love you, Daddy! Thankful for YOU today! 


Day 2



Two things:

1. My sister - she is so amazingly talented and she's sharing her time and talents with me today to make my dining room set beautiful again. Thank you, Stephanie - I love you!

2. My husband found Ding Dongs back on the shelf again and brought some home. Just one more reason he's awesome.



Day 3


 I'm thankful for my pastor. And here's the deal...I'm in the unique position of being married to my pastor. 

We all see the fruit of his study, he is a gifted teacher, he loves the people entrusted to him, he believes and lives out the importance of being light and salt in our community, he's transparent and honest. He's not afraid to take risks and try new approaches. He believes and lives out empowering others rather than being a one man show. We all see those things.

I see the times he is unfairly criticised. I see when he fails and isn't given the same grace most others get in times of failure. I see the hours and hours he invests in prayer and study to be able to faithfully teach. I see the forgiveness and grace he has extended to so many over the years - in measures that only come from the Spirit.

I am thankful for my pastor. If you haven't thanked your pastor recently, consider doing so. Most of them work harder than you'll ever know.

Brian Black - you da man. Thank you for being faithful where God has placed you.


Day 4


Provision. I used to say that pretty thoughtlessly...tack it on in a prayer before we eat and move on. But the places God has placed us to serve have taught me that food on our table is a gift. I am truly thankful and pray daily that I will look for ways to help those that struggle to feed their families.

Day 5

Not sure I even know how to say what I want to say tonight...

As Brian and I search for what God would have us investing in for this next stage of our life, I'm taking some training with CASA (if you don't know what this is, check it here: http://www.oklahomacasa.org/ - even if I don't end up doing it, I can't think of a more worthy way to invest your time); I've been to a fostering/adoption conference, and we're talking to friends that have been active for years in this field.

I am over. whelmed. There is so much pain in this world.

And I am thankful.

Thankful that God lets us be a part of the answer.

I guess that's it. I'm thankful tonight that God let's us be part of the answer.

Day 6

I am thankful for my career. I know very few people that, 28 years after graduating college, still do and love what they trained to do.

It has provided me the flexibility to be a primarily stay-at-home mom and still stay in my field.

It never gets boring and I always feel like I'm making a positive contribution.

It has allowed me to work with and for some of the greatest people on the planet, even as we've moved to different communities throughout the years.

I love the culture, the language, the people. I am grateful.

Day 7

As I'm finally sitting in my house - after four of the last five days requiring a trip to OKC, I'm thankful for a dependable car that gets amazing gas mileage. I'm also incredibly grateful that I don't have to go back for five days. Now, to get that cup of hot tea...

So I Was Afraid

In Matthew 25, we hear Jesus tell a story.

A rich man is heading out on a long journey and he puts three of his servants in charge of his assets. To one he gives five "talents" (money); to another, two; and to another, one.  And off he goes.  When he returns some time later, he finds that the first two men have invested, and doubled, the assets left with them.  

The master responds to them both with, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

It's the third man bringing me here today.

He is afraid. 

Now remember -- the master trusted him - so he's clearly no dope.  The master saw potential. He saw what could be.  What did the man see?

He saw his potential for failure.  He saw his weakness.  He saw the perfection of his boss.

He was afraid.

He buried the money in a hole and did nothing.

I SO don't want to be that guy.

I see my potential for failure - and it's huge.  I see my weakness - it is great.  I see the enormity of the task.  I see the awesomeness, the perfection of my God.

I'm uncomfortable.

I'm afraid.

And I want to hide.   I want to procrastinate.  I want to continue to come up with reasons (read "excuses") for why I should just hide in a hole - at least I won't make anything worse there, right?

Wrong.

 

There is much that needs to be done - much He has entrusted to us - to me.  We are the agents He has chosen to use to bind up the broken, to heal, to rescue, to love this world and show them the love of a perfect, awesome Father.  And it will. get. worse. if we - if I, choose to hide in a hole and do nothing.

God is opening some doors just a crack to let me see some options - and y'all - I'm terrified at what lies behind every. one. of. them.

But I don't want to be that guy.

I don't want to be the guy, that at the end looks back at what could have been. 

I don't want to look back and just see a pile of dirt and an unused life.

Beginning Tonight

Beginning tonight,

my house will become messy again after I clean it,
I'll have to cook more,
the laundry will pile up faster,
my reading will consistently  be interrupted, to talk,
I will have to go to social events against my will,
I'll have to talk in the mornings...

I can. not. wait.

I have missed my man.

I have known he makes me a better person, but I realize afresh all the different ways that is true.

I'm ready for an evening around the firepit with friends - that includes my best friend.

Hurry home, Brian!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow.

This'll be short and to the point.

Brian and Dylan leave tomorrow for India with Steve Hollingsworth, of 4Him ministries.  Brian and Steve will be gone for 2 1/2 weeks.  Dylan for some extended time after that (not sure of his return date yet).

If you haven't been following this, they will be serving alongside an Indian pastor in Chennai that trains young pastors and then supports their work (teaching, encouraging, and helping them to be come self-sustaining) as they go back to their home villages, all over India - starting schools and, often, churches. Much of his work is with the Dalite people groups. They will be working with pastors, students, children and whoever else God brings in their path.

My heart is incredibly full today.  I'm SO proud of these two men in my life.  They are both reaching way outside of their comfort zones - doing what love does - what faith does.  Which is just that -- it DOES.

Please pray.

Pray they will be empty vessels, that God can pour Himself through.
Pray they will risk, and love, and give. Everyday.
Pray they will be a blessing and be blessed.
Pray they will both see and be light in the midst of great darkness.
Pray they will bring life lessons back to share with the Bodies they worship and serve with.
Pray they will be changed forever.
Pray for wisdom as they teach, learn from and invest in the lives of pastors, students, children.
Pray for their health - specifically 1. that the introduction of so many new germs, foods, etc. will not make them sick;  2. Dylan's depression - that it would be well managed and he would have clear thought and peace.
Pray they will be able to rest when it's time to rest - no matter the environment - and feel refreshed when it's time to work again.

I'm so excited for them.

I'm so freaked out.

But I am at peace.

Can't wait to see what God has in store.

Love Does

The Things That Last

Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, this empty nest thing got the better of me.  Or perhaps it was the fact that I turned 50 that same week.  Either way, I went a little nuts.  

I decided it was time to "de-school" the house.  If you homeschool, please listen to the following piece of advise:  DO NOT wait until all your kids are grown and gone to get rid of all the old school stuff.  It's a REALLY bad idea.  Try to take care of it as you go.

I can give that advise because I did the exact opposite.  I'm pretty sure I hadn't thrown away a single scrap of paper in the 18 years that I spent educating our three kids.  Every math paper, every penmanship paper, every grammar worksheet, every creative writing project, every book, every shred of curriculum, everything.  Everything.  Did I mention everything?

It is not a good idea for a pre-menopausal, recently empty-nested, just turned fifty-year-old woman to be going through the papers that her children's sweet little cherub hands created at five, seven, ten...

These would be the books, curriculum, etc. that were good, but no particular attachment was made and they'll be helpful to some other mom someday, so I'm getting rid of them.  Any takers?

More of the same...

Again, any takers?

Boxes and boxes of books that Brian and I have read, enjoyed and decided (perhaps somewhat reluctantly on his part - but he was a little afraid of me at the time, I think, so he complied) to share with others.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And here's where I learned a little something.  Eighteen years of homeschooling...our blood, sweat and tears.  The blood, sweat and tears of our children... it came down this...

This picture is the blood, sweat and tears part.  The "work".  The part the kids fought me over, that I worried and stressed about, that made me feel like an unfit mother/teacher.  Penmanship, science, history, math, creative writing, blah, blah, blah.  Now?  Now the papers will go up in flames somewhere where I can't watch.  I was reminded often as I sifted through it of this verse in 1 Corinthians 3 :

"For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.  If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw,  their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work."

So what's gonna last?

These are the books I was absolutely unable to part with.  Books that one child or another particularly enjoyed reading, that we all loved reading together, that we laughed through, cried through, had some emotional attachment to...

  

And one day these will burn too, but they'll stay for now because they represent what will not burn.  The love of our family, the love of learning, the joy of discovery, the excitement of "seeing" the lives that have gone before us, getting to know our God better - together.  Those things will last.

I'm thankful that when Erin was in third grade, I put all the "curriculum" away in a box and spent two months getting to know her a little better, investigating how she learned, playing games and adapted "school" to our home instead of forcing someone else's ideas of the best way to learn on to her.  I tried to do that with all three kids. I made plenty of mistakes, forced some stupid curriculum options on them at times, stressed about things I shouldn't have stressed over...  But we'll survive the mistakes, I guess.  We always seem to. :)

What's not gonna burn?  

The relationships;  a life time of memories that we share; the fact that they each, in their own way, love to learn (different things, in different ways, but always growing); character and integrity; a desire in each of them to serve "the least of these".

All of us - those who homeschool and those who send their kids to school, those who teach their own kids at home and those who teach other people's kids, those with no kids at all, but who have a place of influence in another's life - can work on those things.

I've spent a lifetime investing in the education and growth of my children.  I would not trade one second of that time for more money, or things, or fame.  Nothing is more important to me than what we all learned during that time, the relationships built, the time well spent.  I'm so glad I was able to teach them readin', writin', and 'rithmatic - but I'm much more glad that I was able to invest in who they are - in their hearts - in their character - in the "gold, silver and costly stones".

So here's my goal as a pre-menopausal, recently empty-nested, just turned fifty-year-old woman - to find the things that will last and invest in those things in this new chapter of my life.  I'm excited to see where it takes me.

What are you investing in that will last?

And really - I'm searching - I'd love to hear your thoughts.